112 | Coaching vs. Mentoring vs. Consulting – What Am I Actually Selling?

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Hello and welcome to Women in

the Coaching Arena podcast.

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I'm so glad you are here.

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I'm Jo Lott, a business mentor

and ICF accredited coach

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Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):

and I help coaches to

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build brilliant businesses.

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I know that when you prepare to enter

the arena, there is fear, self doubt,

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comparison, anxiety, uncertainty.

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You can tend to armor up and

protect yourself from vulnerability.

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In this podcast, I'll be sharing

honest, not hype, practical and

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emotional tools to support you to make

the difference that you are here for.

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Dare greatly.

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You belong in this arena.

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Hello.

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Welcome to episode 112 of

Women in the Coaching Arena.

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I am so glad you are here.

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I was looking at my top episodes

recently, and the most downloaded

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was on how to structure your coaching

sessions, so it was number 85, how

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to structure your coaching sessions.

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I created that episode because I know

when I help people to come up with

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a signature coaching package, that

then there is this huge confusion

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as to whether it's still coaching,

because you are essentially leading by

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suggesting a pathway to your client.

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So today I wanted to cover all

of these things, so coaching,

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mentoring, consulting, to really

help you figure out what exactly

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you are selling and ask yourself the

question, does that really matter?

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So, especially if you are an accredited

coach, I am sure you will be wanting

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to stick to the ethics of coaching.

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So therefore you are probably

asking yourself, what am I selling?

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Am I coaching?

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Am I mentoring?

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Am I consulting?

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And most importantly, is

it okay to blend them?

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You've done the coach training, you

know what pure coaching looks like.

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You are careful not to lead

the client, not to give advice.

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But then you start working with

real people outside of your coach

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training and realize they're asking

you for your thoughts, your expertise,

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your experience, and suddenly you

are trying to say, oh, no, no.

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That's not what coaching is.

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This is how it works with coaching.

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And this is often where we can

get stuck because we want to

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help our clients move forward.

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But we also don't want to be unethical

or go against what we have been taught.

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Okay, let's start with coaching.

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So coaching is about

asking powerful questions.

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It's about holding space for the client

to come to their own conclusions.

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You are helping them find those

answers already within themselves.

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In this space, you are not the expert.

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They are the expert on

themselves and their own life.

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It's non-directive.

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You don't tell them what to do.

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You support them to figure

out their own way forward.

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And this is really, really powerful,

especially when someone feels stuck,

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unsure, maybe they've lost their

confidence because it's really empowering

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to help put them back in the driving seat.

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But coaching alone can sometimes leave

your clients feeling unsure, frustrated

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about what the next steps are, and that

is where Blend can be really valuable.

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I remember when I had a client who was

struggling with exactly this and her

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clients were feeling quite frustrated in

those sessions saying, I came to work with

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you because you used to do the role that

I currently do, and therefore I want your

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guidance and partnership on this journey.

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I don't only want questions, and I

remember when she came to me saying

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like, I just don't know what to do.

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I want to provide coaching and this

is what my client is requesting, and

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I really do think that that is often

the case because you will attract.

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Clients where they see that you have

already solved the sort of problem

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that they are perhaps working on.

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So therefore it is frustrating

for them to be told this.

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I remember when I got my first

coach who was an ICF MCC coach,

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and I was so fortunate to find him.

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Because he was a more experienced coach

than me, and I wanted to be a much

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better coach, and therefore I would've

felt so frustrated if every time I asked

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him for his learnings and his views,

if he'd have said sorry I'm coaching.

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I cannot share that with you.

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Fortunately, even though he is an

ICF MCC coach he said, life is messy.

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Coaching is messy.

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You cannot live life with

this rule book in hand.

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The real world is very, very different

than the rule book, and that was

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such a freeing moment for me.

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That has helped me to be way

more confident in myself and my

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skills as a coach and mentor.

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And talking of mentorship.

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Let's talk about this now.

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So mentoring means you've

usually been there before.

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You've maybe walked the path

that they are trying to walk on.

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Usually you are saying, I've done this.

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Here's what worked for me.

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Take what resonates for you.

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I have a phrase in my program, which is

eat the chicken and throw away the bones.

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In other words, take the bits

that are useful for you and

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leave the bits that aren't.

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I will never say, you must do it this

way, but I will share what has been

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useful on my journey, my experience

of working with people, and you can

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take from that whatever is useful

for you and leave whatever isn't.

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With mentorship, there is still

lots of space for exploration.

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It's still a really

supportive relationship.

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I remember being really excited when

we were coming to the mentorship part

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of my coach training, and I was so

surprised that the only difference

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in the ILM level seven that I did was

essentially coach as usual, and then at

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the end, if it's called mentorship, you

can say, I've done something similar.

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Would you like to hear

how it worked out for me?

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Or something along those lines.

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And I expected it to be much more

blended than the rule book version

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of mentoring that I got taught.

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But that was quite nice, especially if

you really do like coaching and therefore

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you can coach first and then offer

something at the end if you feel like

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that is helpful and serves the client.

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I find that paying clients are usually

really grateful for this blend of

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coaching and mentorship because we

market our business usually showcasing

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our own expertise, our own journey, and

therefore they will see us as that guide.

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So, like I mentioned earlier, it can be

frustrating if we won't share anything at

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all that might be useful for that client.

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For example, if you are a career

coach, you will know a lot

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better than an average client.

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What sort of things will be

useful for them to look at.

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Because certainly when I came out of my

job, I had no idea what strengths I had.

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I didn't even know what values were.

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So if I hadn't have had a coach to

really help me along this journey to

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suggest, let's figure out your strengths,

what's really important to you?

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Let's work on your values.

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Then I would've probably just applied

for the same job that I'd always done

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because I just didn't know that there was

this exploration we could do together.

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So again, why it's so, so powerful

for you to be able to take that person

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on a journey because you've had time

to think about what would be really

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useful for that person to explore.

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So it can still be coaching, but often

if you've identified the things that

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would be useful for them, you may save

them a lot of time in investigating, not

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really knowing what order to do things in.

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So often this blend is actually what

your client wants when they buy from you.

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Okay.

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Let's move on to consulting.

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So this is the expert insights.

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It's more directive.

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You are the expert in a

particular subject area.

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You might come in, maybe you assess

the situation, provide a exact

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strategy, recommendation, templates.

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You're thinking about here

is a step-by-step framework.

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Let me show you how I would do this thing.

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Here's the exact pitch deck to use.

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Consulting is really powerful.

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It saves people a lot of time,

and here's the difference.

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In consulting, you are usually doing

much more telling than listening.

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They are mostly hiring you

to be told exactly what to do

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from your expert perspective.

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So what are you actually doing?

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Most of us are doing a blend, and

I genuinely believe that is okay.

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I think it becomes an issue when we

are not clear on what we're offering or

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we're afraid of what people might think.

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You can contract very clearly upfront

when you know what that client wants.

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Maybe you will want to ask them,

do they want pure coaching?

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Do they want a blend of coaching,

mentorship, strategic partnership?

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You can ask them each time what would

be most useful for them in the moment.

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Even if you are giving a signature

coaching offer where maybe you have

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some sort of framework that you

want to take your clients through,

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it can still be pure coaching.

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So for example, when I did career

coaching, I would often say, okay,

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so today we are due to be working on

your strengths and identifying them,

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but what would be most useful for you?

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And then people may say, well, actually,

I'm quite clear on my strengths.

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What I really need is this.

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And then we would work

on that in the session.

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So it doesn't need to be rigorous.

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You will still always want to serve

that client exactly where they are at.

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Sometimes just to kind of tick off my

own obsession about helping my clients

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get through the program, I maybe would

pull out their strengths, for example,

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in that session, even if we were

discussing something completely different.

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So that would help me and the

client feel like we were still

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on track in that program.

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So let's talk about now why blending

can help your clients and your business,

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because let's be honest here, people

don't always know or value what

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coaching is other than us coaches.

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Most people don't wake up thinking,

I need a coach to help me explore

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my values, my strengths, through

a non-directive questioning, they

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think I need to get out of this job.

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I absolutely hate it.

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They want results.

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And if you can help them get results

using your skills as a coach, plus

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your experience, maybe helping

other people through that career

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journey before, and helpful tools

from your consulting background.

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Why wouldn't you be able

to blend all of the things.

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I often use the example of

someone who is a receptionist.

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They wouldn't say, hold on a

minute, I only answer the phone.

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I will never turn my laptop

on and reply to emails.

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We all have so many skills.

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We learn the skill called coaching and

we feel like we need to erase every other

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skill and experience that we ever had in

our lives because now we know coaching.

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And in order to provide the best service

to our clients, we need to be constantly

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tuned in with exactly what they want.

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And if we can provide that,

why wouldn't we provide it?

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So this doesn't mean

abandoning your coaching roots.

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It means being client centered and outcome

focused and really figuring out in the

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moment as you continue the journey with

them, what best serves that person.

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If you are wondering how to talk about

this blend on your website or on sales or

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discovery calls, something like, "I use

a blend of coaching, and mentoring, so

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I'll never give you cookie cutter advice.

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If you would like, I can share insights

and frameworks when it feels helpful.

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I am here to guide you, not to dictate

but you will never be left staring at a

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blank page, and I will be your thinking

partner throughout this journey".

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Something like that for

me feels reassuring.

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It sets expectations.

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It shows that you are both

professional and human.

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The key thing is you are being honest

about the full value that you offer.

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So my final thought on this

is to trust your own approach.

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You are allowed to start to feel your way.

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Just like my wonderful coach said to me at

the start of this journey, life is messy.

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Coaching is messy.

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The rule book doesn't always

allow for the messiness that

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is a human being's experience.

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So bring your experience, your tools,

templates, your voice, your coaching,

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your mentorship, your experience.

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Bring the entire amazing picture

of who you are in service of that

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individual client in front of you.

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It is also worth saying that most

people just don't care if it's called

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coaching, mentoring, consulting.

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The average person just wants

to get results, and that's what

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your clients will care about.

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So yes, we may want to know

the definitions, but most

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people genuinely don't.

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Like, for example, I should definitely

call myself a business mentor because

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I guide people along the journey.

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But no one has ever said,

are you a mentor or are you a

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coach, or are you a consultant?

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No one cares.

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If you were to buy from me, would

you even be going, Hmm, is she gonna

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coach me or is she going to mentor me?

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Or is it this, you were like.

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Just tell me how to get clients.

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And on that way I will use coaching

questions, I will use frameworks,

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I will blend every single thing

that I know that will help you

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find your perfect combination to

build your own unique business.

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So I hope today's episode was helpful.

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If you are still wrestling with

describing what you do, then chat

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to me on LinkedIn or Instagram.

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I'm on LinkedIn as Joanna Lott and

Instagram as @joannalottcoaching.

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Please do share this episode with a fellow

coach or rate and leave me a review.

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It will really, really help more

people to find this podcast, and I

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will personally thank you for that.

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If you let me know you have done it.

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So as I say at the end of

every episode, trust yourself.

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Believe in yourself, and be the wise

gardener who keeps on watering the seeds.

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Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):

Thank you so much for listening to this

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episode of Women in the Coaching Arena.

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I have a mess of free resources on

my website joannalottcoaching.com.

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That's Joanna with an A

and Lott with two T's.

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joannalottcoaching.com.

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And I'll also put links in the show notes.

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Let me know if you found

this episode useful.

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Share it with a friend and

leave me a review, and I will

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personally thank you for that.

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Remember to trust yourself, believe

in yourself and be the wise Gardner

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who keeps on watering the seed.

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Get into the arena dare, greatly and try.