44 | Choose Your Hard

Speaker: 00:00:00

Hello and welcome to Women in

the Coaching Arena podcast.

2

: 00:00:04

I'm so glad you are here.

3

: 00:00:06

I'm Jo Lott, a business mentor

and ICF accredited coach

4

: 00:00:10

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):

and I help coaches to

5

: 00:00:11

build brilliant businesses.

6

: 00:00:14

I know that when you prepare to enter

the arena, there is fear, self doubt,

7

: 00:00:19

comparison, anxiety, uncertainty.

8

: 00:00:23

You can tend to armor up and

protect yourself from vulnerability.

9

: 00:00:29

In this podcast, I'll be sharing

honest, not hype, practical and

10

: 00:00:32

emotional tools to support you to make

the difference that you are here for.

11

: 00:00:37

Dare greatly.

12

: 00:00:38

You belong in this arena.

13

: 00:00:41

Hello welcome to episode 44 of

women in the Coaching Arena.

14

: 00:00:45

I am so glad you are here.

15

: 00:00:47

I am recording this episode

on the 3rd of January and the

16

: 00:00:51

January blues have truly set in.

17

: 00:00:54

And it made me think

about choosing my hard.

18

: 00:00:58

I once heard this quote.

19

: 00:01:00

Choose your hard.

20

: 00:01:02

Marriage is hard.

21

: 00:01:03

Divorce is hard.

22

: 00:01:05

Choose your hard.

23

: 00:01:06

Obesity is hard.

24

: 00:01:08

Being fit is hard.

25

: 00:01:09

Choose your hard.

26

: 00:01:11

Being in debt is hard.

27

: 00:01:13

Being financially disciplined is hard.

28

: 00:01:15

Choose your hard.

29

: 00:01:17

Communicating is hard.

30

: 00:01:19

Not communicating is hard.

31

: 00:01:20

Choose your hard.

32

: 00:01:22

Life will never be easy.

33

: 00:01:24

It will always be hard,

but we can choose our hard.

34

: 00:01:27

Pick wisely.

35

: 00:01:29

And I really, really like that

because I think I'm in the stage

36

: 00:01:33

of thinking the grass is greener.

37

: 00:01:36

So I was talking to my husband last

night about the change that's going

38

: 00:01:40

to happen in my business this year.

39

: 00:01:42

And the slight anxiety about my

expenses rising and about the

40

: 00:01:47

people I'm hiring to help me and

the financial implications of that.

41

: 00:01:52

And he said, if you are thinking that if

you do something else, like get a job,

42

: 00:01:58

which I wasn't thinking at all is easier.

43

: 00:02:02

And it will make that

anxiety feeling go away.

44

: 00:02:05

Then you're mistaken that feeding

is always going to be there.

45

: 00:02:09

There is always going to be challenges.

46

: 00:02:11

And it was a great reminder because

I think I'm at the point now where

47

: 00:02:16

I'm starting to think, which within

if I have never thought, and I know

48

: 00:02:19

people think this all the time.

49

: 00:02:21

Is it easier to go and get a job?

50

: 00:02:24

Because you work so hard when

you have your own business.

51

: 00:02:29

And I love it because

it's an expression of you.

52

: 00:02:32

And you really get to create

something that makes a difference.

53

: 00:02:37

But there is no doubt about it.

54

: 00:02:40

It is hard.

55

: 00:02:42

Being always on.

56

: 00:02:43

So this Christmas I was very good

and I really really switched off.

57

: 00:02:48

Fortunately, we were waiting

nearly the entire two weeks.

58

: 00:02:52

So I think being out of the

house really helps switch off.

59

: 00:02:55

But even when you're switching

off, it is all consuming.

60

: 00:03:00

You are literally thinking, right.

61

: 00:03:02

I've got that offer to launch,

or I've got this to do.

62

: 00:03:05

Or this would be a really good

social media post and your brain

63

: 00:03:09

just never, ever switches off

when you have your own business.

64

: 00:03:13

So that led me to wanting to record

this episode for you today, in case

65

: 00:03:18

you are wondering which hard to choose,

because again, like the quote says.

66

: 00:03:25

Both options are hard.

67

: 00:03:27

It's about choosing our hard.

68

: 00:03:30

I do think that there is this common

misconception that success should be easy.

69

: 00:03:36

And we see that all over social media, you

know, how relaxed everyone looks despite

70

: 00:03:41

running multi-million pound businesses.

71

: 00:03:44

And it's just not true.

72

: 00:03:46

And I think the more masterminds

and things I'm part of you realize

73

: 00:03:49

everyone has challenges and I

voice noted someone the other day.

74

: 00:03:53

Saying something along these lines.

75

: 00:03:57

And he messaged me back saying

every single day, I have those

76

: 00:04:02

thoughts and it was amazing because

you would see him on social media.

77

: 00:04:06

And I just would never know because he's

so positive and he's so disciplined.

78

: 00:04:11

So it was a real eye-opener

that it's not just me.

79

: 00:04:15

So I wanted to share this with you

today in case you think it's just you,

80

: 00:04:20

that sometimes has those feelings of.

81

: 00:04:23

Is this just all too hard?

82

: 00:04:26

So if I think back to the workplace,

now, comparing it to what I know now in

83

: 00:04:30

entrepreneurship, I actually think it

was really easy work-wise anyway, so,

84

: 00:04:36

you know, you go in at your set time.

85

: 00:04:38

I used to go to the gym for an hour

every single lunchtime I used to

86

: 00:04:42

leave on time every single day.

87

: 00:04:45

And then just go out to

pubs and enjoy my evenings.

88

: 00:04:49

So it's a huge difference

now, looking back.

89

: 00:04:52

Of the workload level compared

to the workload that I have now

90

: 00:04:58

in entrepreneurship, when you are

the marketeer, the accountant.

91

: 00:05:02

The coach, all of the different hats that

you wear in comparison to when you work

92

: 00:05:07

in the workplace and you have a team.

93

: 00:05:09

You have people to bounce ideas off.

94

: 00:05:11

You have other teams to actually

do some of the work for you.

95

: 00:05:16

So it's easy to look back and

think that I'm comparing just that

96

: 00:05:20

workload with my workload now.

97

: 00:05:23

But actually it's not

really just the workload.

98

: 00:05:27

It's the politics that came with

that role that did hang over me 24 7.

99

: 00:05:32

And I forget that sometimes like

how draining that is when you're

100

: 00:05:36

constantly trying to please people.

101

: 00:05:38

When you can't get your ideas through.

102

: 00:05:40

When you can't create what you want,

because there's always someone more

103

: 00:05:44

senior to get the approval or there's

people, less senior to get on board.

104

: 00:05:49

Nothing was easy, but often we can

forget that that was not always easy.

105

: 00:05:54

It was just very different.

106

: 00:05:56

And now reflecting on that experience

in the workplace even though

107

: 00:06:00

maybe workload was easy but it was

that unfulfilling kind of hard.

108

: 00:06:06

When, even though you're not run ragged,

there's nothing worse than sitting at

109

: 00:06:11

your desk all day, waiting to go home.

110

: 00:06:13

And knowing that you can't create

your freedom of expression.

111

: 00:06:17

You can't just take action and

do something that you want to do.

112

: 00:06:21

So it's good to reflect on the

fact that it left me feeling

113

: 00:06:26

completely out of alignment.

114

: 00:06:28

Every single day.

115

: 00:06:30

And really out of alignment with my values

every single day, which felt really hard.

116

: 00:06:36

Instead of ever energized

or fulfilled or proud.

117

: 00:06:40

I don't think I ever

really had these feelings.

118

: 00:06:42

So while it's in a weird of

way, it was kind of stable

119

: 00:06:45

it was very out of alignment.

120

: 00:06:49

So then obviously I pivoted, so I chose

the path of building my own business.

121

: 00:06:55

And it's really hard as well.

122

: 00:06:58

There's that uncertainty.

123

: 00:07:00

The weight of finances.

124

: 00:07:02

Now I'm growing my team and I've

got huge outgoings in comparison to

125

: 00:07:06

when I first started my business.

126

: 00:07:08

And that is a huge responsibility

that I haven't been used

127

: 00:07:12

to before in my business.

128

: 00:07:14

So, despite it feeling hard sometimes.

129

: 00:07:19

It's also really rewarding.

130

: 00:07:22

And it's true creative expression of

what I want to create in the world,

131

: 00:07:28

which is something that most people

never really get to bring to fruition.

132

: 00:07:33

It's also the freedom to do

work when I want to do it.

133

: 00:07:37

To take holiday.

134

: 00:07:38

When I want to do air.

135

: 00:07:39

To put boundaries in that, I want to do.

136

: 00:07:43

To know that there is no ceiling and I

can continue to create value, which can

137

: 00:07:49

grow my impact and my income is something

that I would never have had in the

138

: 00:07:54

workplace because there is always someone

saying you can or can't get promotion.

139

: 00:08:00

And so that is something I

absolutely love in entrepreneurship.

140

: 00:08:05

That you are on a continual

personal growth journey.

141

: 00:08:08

There is no coasting in entrepreneurship.

142

: 00:08:11

If you aren't creating value,

if you aren't pushing yourself

143

: 00:08:13

to the limit, then your business

won't grow and you won't grow.

144

: 00:08:18

And when it comes down to it,

isn't that the whole point.

145

: 00:08:23

That we are here to continue to

evolve and grow and become the very

146

: 00:08:30

best version of us that we can.

147

: 00:08:32

To endure challenges.

148

: 00:08:34

That you have to overcome, because

again, there is no coasting.

149

: 00:08:38

If you can't overcome them, your

business will grind to a halt.

150

: 00:08:42

So you have to step up and step into it.

151

: 00:08:47

To be able to thrive in entrepreneurship.

152

: 00:08:50

And therefore to be able

to grow as a human being.

153

: 00:08:53

So I would love to invite you to

think about your hard and which

154

: 00:08:58

one you are going to choose.

155

: 00:09:00

Back to the quotes.

156

: 00:09:02

For example, it's hard to be obese.

157

: 00:09:05

It's hard to go to the gym.

158

: 00:09:06

Like which one are you going to choose?

159

: 00:09:09

I am this year for sure going to choose

more fitness, more health, even though

160

: 00:09:14

I want more biscuits because that is

the easier option though the result

161

: 00:09:20

of that is the harder thing to enjoy.

162

: 00:09:22

So sometimes it's those small actions

that you can take every day to grow

163

: 00:09:27

your life and your business that

will add up to that huge success.

164

: 00:09:32

You can choose a path of true fulfillment.

165

: 00:09:36

Knowing that both paths are hard.

166

: 00:09:40

Yet one is perhaps for you going to

be more rewarding than the other.

167

: 00:09:45

I have several clients who are

going through this at the moment.

168

: 00:09:49

I have one client Yvonne.

169

: 00:09:51

Hello Yvonne if you're listening,

who has had her first day of

170

: 00:09:55

full-time entrepreneurship yesterday.

171

: 00:09:58

She has been working with

me for the last nine months.

172

: 00:10:00

And she's been balancing her full-time

job with her coaching business.

173

: 00:10:04

She has done exceptionally well.

174

: 00:10:07

She has overcome so many barriers.

175

: 00:10:10

She has worked so hard considering

she's also working full time.

176

: 00:10:14

So I'm so excited that despite the fact,

she now knows entrepreneurship is hard

177

: 00:10:20

because she has learned that over the

last nine months of really stepping up,

178

: 00:10:23

challenging herself, pushing herself.

179

: 00:10:25

That she is prepared to go all in and

start this entrepreneurship journey

180

: 00:10:30

full-time so I think that is truly

inspiring because to be honest, I

181

: 00:10:35

think if I had any idea while I was

working, I would probably coasted

182

: 00:10:40

for a little bit longer, but I'm

obviously truly grateful in all

183

: 00:10:44

honesty that I did go for this path.

184

: 00:10:47

As I have grown more in the last

four years than I genuinely feel

185

: 00:10:51

like I have grown in the last 40.

186

: 00:10:54

So in summary of this

episode, Choose your hard.

187

: 00:10:58

Every single option is hard.

188

: 00:11:02

This myth, that success is easy is

probably just that a myth and do,

189

: 00:11:07

let me know if you know different.

190

: 00:11:10

And I know we choose our thoughts

and our thoughts form our reality.

191

: 00:11:14

So I don't always go down this route, but

I think at certain times, and certainly

192

: 00:11:19

early January when things do feel

harder, cause it's dark and it's cold.

193

: 00:11:24

It's good to accept that this

is the norm for most of us.

194

: 00:11:29

And, we are all facing challenges.

195

: 00:11:31

I'm actually doing Gabby Bernstein's 21

day manifestation challenge at the moment.

196

: 00:11:36

And I remember reading one of her books.

197

: 00:11:39

And despite the fact, she always says,

choose again, choose another thought.

198

: 00:11:43

And you know, all the things that

we know as coaches that we should

199

: 00:11:45

do, and I practice all the time, but

she actually said she often feels

200

: 00:11:50

really down and wonders what it's

all about and all of those things

201

: 00:11:54

so even if you are at the highest

frequency and practicing all the stuff.

202

: 00:11:58

I think it's good to know

that it's always hard.

203

: 00:12:02

Denise Duffield Thomas is another example.

204

: 00:12:04

She is now a multimillionaire and she

says she works every single day on

205

: 00:12:09

her money mindset and receiving more.

206

: 00:12:11

There is never a point that it stops,

like working on yourself is the biggest

207

: 00:12:16

thing you can do to generate huge results.

208

: 00:12:20

So do let me know about the choices

you intend to make as we begin this

209

: 00:12:27

new year and if this episode resonated

for you, I would love to hear from you.

210

: 00:12:31

You can contact me on LinkedIn as Joanna

Lott or Instagram as @joannalottcoaching.

211

: 00:12:38

And like I say, at the end of every

episode, trust yourself, believe

212

: 00:12:42

in yourself and be the wise Gardner

who keeps on watering the seed.

213

: 00:12:47

Thank you so much for listening to this

episode of Women in the Coaching Arena.

214

: 00:12:52

I have a mess of free resources on

my website joannalottcoaching.com.

215

: 00:12:58

That's Joanna with an A

and Lott with two T's.

216

: 00:13:02

joannalottcoaching.com.

217

: 00:13:04

And I'll also put links in the show notes.

218

: 00:13:08

Let me know if you found

this episode useful.

219

: 00:13:11

Share it with a friend and

leave me a review, and I will

220

: 00:13:14

personally thank you for that.

221

: 00:13:17

Remember to trust yourself, believe

in yourself and be the wise Gardner

222

: 00:13:21

who keeps on watering the seed.

223

: 00:13:23

Get into the arena dare, greatly and try.