20 | The power of setting boundaries in your business
Setting boundaries in your business can be difficult. Jo shares her personal struggle with work-life balance and the challenges of switching off when your business means so much to you. But setting boundaries is essential for well-being and business growth, as burnout is a significant threat to entrepreneurs. Jo suggests setting boundaries in terms of work hours and advises thinking of it as an act of self-love. Jo outlines five steps to begin setting healthy boundaries and encourages listeners to celebrate their wins and nurture their dreams.
Setting Boundaries for Well-being [00:02:44" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">00:02:44]
Explains the importance of setting boundaries for physical, emotional, and mental well-being in personal and professional life.
Balancing Work Hours [00:04:05" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">00:04:05]
Discusses the need to determine whether to have set work hours or a more flexible approach, and shares personal experiences and insights.
Steps to Setting Boundaries [00:06:23" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">00:06:23]
Provides steps to start setting boundaries in a healthy and compassionate way, including reflecting on needs and values, clear communication, self-compassion, consistency, and respecting others' boundaries.
Setting Boundaries Can Make a Huge Difference [00:11:16" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">00:11:16]
Explains the benefits of setting boundaries, such as reclaiming control, eliminating stress, and having clarity and focus.
Celebrate Every Win [00:12:36" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">00:12:36]
Encourages celebrating small victories to notice the positive impact of setting boundaries.
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Transcript
Hello and welcome to Women in the Coaching Arena podcast.
Speaker:I'm so glad you are here.
Speaker:I'm Jo Lott, a business mentor and ICF accredited coach, and I'm on a
Speaker:mission to help brilliant coaches build brilliant coaching businesses.
Speaker:In this podcast, I'll be sharing honest, not hype, practical and
Speaker:emotional tools to support you to make the difference that you are here for.
Speaker:Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone): Hello, welcome to episode 20
Speaker:of women in the coaching arena.
Speaker:I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker:I'm your host, Jo Lott.
Speaker:And today we are going to talk about something close to my heart.
Speaker:It's close to my heart because it's something that I
Speaker:really struggle with because.
Speaker:As you may know, as an entrepreneur, it is all consuming.
Speaker:And when something means so much to you.
Speaker:And pretty much, depends on you.
Speaker:Then it is really hard to switch off.
Speaker:So I'm recording today's episode on boundaries as much for me as well as you.
Speaker:So something really interesting happened this week and I was taking on a new client
Speaker:and they completed their onboarding form.
Speaker:And they said something really poignant, which literally hit the nail on the head
Speaker:for how most people in this space feel, which is, I would love to feel like I'm
Speaker:not looking for the next client while I'm so busy serving my current clients.
Speaker:And I think that is a really good point.
Speaker:And sometimes you may not be busy serving clients, but you will be busy.
Speaker:I guarantee you.
Speaker:And even if you are busy signing clients, there is always that tendency
Speaker:to think when's the next one coming.
Speaker:So if you feel like that this episode today will really help you.
Speaker:So we live in a world that often glorifies the idea of being constantly available.
Speaker:And needing to reply to WhatsApps and messages instantly
Speaker:and say yes to everything.
Speaker:And as a result, you might find yourself overwhelmed, exhausted.
Speaker:Stretched too thin, personally and professionally.
Speaker:And especially at the start of their business.
Speaker:The first two years, particularly all really intensive and will
Speaker:require quite a lot of hustle energy, whether we like it or not.
Speaker:There is a lot to learn when you first start out and there was a
Speaker:lot to do in terms of building up your credibility, building up
Speaker:your network and your audience.
Speaker:Doing the basics, like what you offering, doing your website,
Speaker:all of these things really do take a toll when you first start.
Speaker:So if you are in that place right now know that it's completely
Speaker:normal and you are not alone.
Speaker:But I do know that setting boundaries is not selfish and it's essential for
Speaker:your wellbeing and the growth of both you and your business, because burnout
Speaker:is the biggest threat to entrepreneurs.
Speaker:So let's start by defining what boundaries are.
Speaker:Boundaries are the invisible lines that we can draw around ourselves to protect our
Speaker:physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Speaker:They define what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in our
Speaker:relationships work and personal life.
Speaker:And setting those boundaries allows you to honor your own needs, values,
Speaker:priorities and helps you to make choices that align with what you truly want
Speaker:versus being in that place where you react and say yes, before you have
Speaker:even realized that you've said it.
Speaker:One area in business where you may want to think about setting boundaries.
Speaker:Is whether you want to have set times for your work.
Speaker:Like we've kind of been brought up to believe the nine to five is
Speaker:the way to go, or whether you are happy with a more flexible approach.
Speaker:So that is something that takes a lot of thinking about when
Speaker:you first start and it's easy to create another job for yourself.
Speaker:And that may not be what really suits you.
Speaker:I would never say it's not okay to work in the evenings.
Speaker:You know, to be honest, I wouldn't have a business if I didn't work in
Speaker:the evenings when I first started out, because I had two days of childcare.
Speaker:And so yeah, it needed a lot of work and that was what I was prepared
Speaker:to do when I first started out, because I wanted this to work.
Speaker:But now in my life, I am no longer in that place.
Speaker:I would never do evening calls anymore.
Speaker:I wouldn't work on my holidays anymore.
Speaker:I absolutely love my weekends.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I might sneak off occasionally and record my podcast because it's my favorite
Speaker:thing to do, and I really enjoy it.
Speaker:And it's kind of like just talking to a friend.
Speaker:But I do have a lot clearer boundaries than I used to.
Speaker:The same goes with my clients.
Speaker:I used to have Voxer access, which is basically when people
Speaker:can message you all the time.
Speaker:But I found, I just couldn't ignore the message.
Speaker:If something came in on a Sunday morning I would then reply at
Speaker:like 7:00 AM on a Sunday morning.
Speaker:And I found it really hard to switch off so I don't include box
Speaker:access anymore in my programs.
Speaker:So have a think about what you might want as a good balance for you.
Speaker:And what you might need to say no to, to really focus on what matters to
Speaker:you and your priorities right now.
Speaker:And if you are a people pleaser, like I am or I am trying to recover from.
Speaker:You may be thinking, but how do I set boundaries without feeling guilty
Speaker:or hurting others by saying no.
Speaker:It's a really valid concern and especially as a woman, I think.
Speaker:Again, that comes up more often.
Speaker:We are expected to be that caring type and we can be thought of as a B
Speaker:word, if we are clear and boundaried.
Speaker:What I think helps in these occasions is to think of setting boundaries as an
Speaker:act of self-love and not selfishness.
Speaker:It's actually respecting yourself honoring your needs, which ultimately
Speaker:will benefit everyone around you.
Speaker:I've talked a few times about my daily yoga practice that I sneak off and do.
Speaker:And I felt really bad about this when I first started.
Speaker:But it really does help my family as well as me.
Speaker:So it is something that I am very boundaried about and I
Speaker:will make a priority because I know it's really important.
Speaker:So here are a few steps to help you to start setting boundaries in
Speaker:a healthy and compassionate way.
Speaker:So step one, reflect on your needs and values.
Speaker:Take some time to think about your core needs and values right now.
Speaker:What do you need to feel fulfilled right now?
Speaker:And recognize those non-negotiables and prioritize them.
Speaker:Like I said, sometimes things will need to shift depending
Speaker:on what your priorities are.
Speaker:Like I mentioned, my priority at the start was build a business, and that does
Speaker:require a lot of time and a lot of energy.
Speaker:So sadly, I couldn't say I'm only going to do this between 10 and two when my
Speaker:son's at nursery, because it's going to genuinely take more than eight
Speaker:hours a week to build my business.
Speaker:So that's why that priority needed to be clear in my mind, to be able
Speaker:to create an effective boundary.
Speaker:Step two communicate clearly and kindly.
Speaker:I practice this with my coach, a lot being clear, assertive,
Speaker:and kind in your communication.
Speaker:I find it really hard to be direct and dress it up with
Speaker:a lot of niceties sometimes.
Speaker:So I am practicing expressing my needs and limits without apologizing.
Speaker:And so again if you are a woman you probably notice that tendency
Speaker:of saying, I'm really sorry, but.
Speaker:If someone is asking for something that you aren't prepared to to
Speaker:maybe we don't need to apologize.
Speaker:Maybe we just need to say that's not a priority for me right now
Speaker:remembering that you have the right to protect your own wellbeing.
Speaker:Step three is practice self-compassion.
Speaker:Setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first.
Speaker:I know it certainly does for me.
Speaker:Certain grounding exercises, like putting your hands on your heart.
Speaker:Hugging yourself, doing EFT.
Speaker:If you haven't tried it already, I would recommend looking at, up on
Speaker:YouTube, emotional freedom technique.
Speaker:And you can put in EFT for any sort of feeling you may be having
Speaker:so EFT for anxiety, for example.
Speaker:And you will find short three to five minute practices that you can do to
Speaker:really bring you back to your center.
Speaker:It really does help taking that time out and you will then feel
Speaker:more able to enforce that boundary.
Speaker:Step four is be consistent.
Speaker:Consistency is key when setting boundaries, if you have kids,
Speaker:you will know all about this.
Speaker:What is, and isn't acceptable.
Speaker:Like for example, we have stopped the kids playing on electronic
Speaker:devices in the school week.
Speaker:And it's really helped because I think before sometimes if I was
Speaker:working, I'd let them go on it.
Speaker:And then other times I wouldn't.
Speaker:And so it really just didn't work.
Speaker:And now just reflecting on it they haven't asked me in months, because
Speaker:obviously now we have a clear boundary in place and they know the rules.
Speaker:So the same goes for us, set your limits and don't waiver.
Speaker:This consistency will help others to understand and respect your boundaries.
Speaker:Step five is to respect others' boundaries.
Speaker:So as we start to set and maintain our own boundaries, Remember to
Speaker:acknowledge and respect others as well.
Speaker:We have no idea what is going on in people's lives.
Speaker:Someone was pressing me to have a call recently.
Speaker:There was just no time.
Speaker:I haven't spoken to my mother in a month and I just thought, well, like if I've
Speaker:got one half an hour my day, I can't prioritize this call when I don't know the
Speaker:purpose of the call or anything about it.
Speaker:And before you think, oh my goodness, I'm just no good at this boundaries thing.
Speaker:I just know that it is an ongoing process as is life of self-discovery and growth.
Speaker:As you practice it, you will get better.
Speaker:I'm on a mastermind at the moment, and one of the people is brilliant at setting
Speaker:boundaries and we had an in-person day last week and she gave a talk.
Speaker:And she is just so good.
Speaker:There is no email on her phone.
Speaker:There's no social media apps.
Speaker:She never ever checks that email on holidays or on weekends.
Speaker:It was a real inspiration of how you can get to that place where
Speaker:you are really utilizing your time and maximizing your effort.
Speaker:Let's talk about how setting boundaries can make a huge difference in your life.
Speaker:So what's in it for you is reclaiming control over your life.
Speaker:Eliminating unnecessary stress and distractions.
Speaker:Having new found clarity and focus to pursue your goals with renewed energy.
Speaker:It also enables you to have a stronger sense of self worth because you
Speaker:are sending a really core message to you that you are important.
Speaker:So there are so many reasons why drawing up your boundaries today can make a big
Speaker:difference in your life and your business.
Speaker:As your business grows I am sure like I have, you will become
Speaker:more intentional about how you spend your time and your energy.
Speaker:And choose activities and relationships that nourish you
Speaker:and help you to feel really good.
Speaker:The steps that we covered to begin setting healthy boundaries were step
Speaker:one reflect on your needs and values.
Speaker:Step two, communicate clearly and kindly step three, practice self-compassion
Speaker:step four, be consistent and step five respect others' boundaries.
Speaker:It's never too late to start.
Speaker:It's an ongoing practice.
Speaker:Something I work on it continuously in my business.
Speaker:And there is growth.
Speaker:So do celebrate every win so you really notice the difference
Speaker:that this is making in your life.
Speaker:Thank you for joining me on today's episode.
Speaker:If you found it helpful, I would greatly appreciate if you could review and rate
Speaker:the podcast, it makes such a difference.
Speaker:And like I say, at the end of every episode, trust yourself, believe
Speaker:in yourself and be the wise Gardner who keeps on watering the seed.
Speaker:Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Women in the Coaching Arena.
Speaker:Please come and say hi to me on LinkedIn or Instagram and let me
Speaker:know how you are getting on in your coaching business and how you are
Speaker:gonna go for your dreams this year.
Speaker:My name on LinkedIn is Joanna Lott and on Instagram is at Joanna Lott Coaching, and
Speaker:I'll also put links in the show notes.
Speaker:Let me know if you found this episode useful.
Speaker:Share it with a friend and leave me a review, and I will
Speaker:personally thank you for that.
Speaker:Thank you so much for listening.