81 | How to Self-Promote: A Coach's Guide to Ethical Marketing

Speaker: 00:00:10

Hello and welcome to Women in

the Coaching Arena podcast.

2

: 00:00:14

I'm so glad you are here.

3

: 00:00:16

I'm Jo Lott, a business mentor

and ICF accredited coach

4

: 00:00:20

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):

and I help coaches to

5

: 00:00:21

build brilliant businesses.

6

: 00:00:24

I know that when you prepare to enter

the arena, there is fear, self doubt,

7

: 00:00:29

comparison, anxiety, uncertainty.

8

: 00:00:33

You can tend to armor up and

protect yourself from vulnerability.

9

: 00:00:39

In this podcast, I'll be sharing

honest, not hype, practical and

10

: 00:00:42

emotional tools to support you to make

the difference that you are here for.

11

: 00:00:47

Dare greatly.

12

: 00:00:48

You belong in this arena.

13

: 00:00:50

Hello, welcome to the 81st episode

of women in the coaching arena.

14

: 00:00:54

I am so glad you are here.

15

: 00:00:56

Today, I'm excited to cover an

important topic of self-promotion and

16

: 00:01:02

a coach's guide to ethical marketing.

17

: 00:01:05

I don't really like the term self

promotion because I just don't see

18

: 00:01:12

it like that, to be honest ' because

I just don't see it as promoting

19

: 00:01:16

yourself as such I see it as solving

your client's problem, but it was the

20

: 00:01:22

main, clear way I could describe this

episode, so excited to cover that today.

21

: 00:01:27

Cause I know it's a real problem

when you first start your business.

22

: 00:01:31

You do need to promote your business a

lot more than sometimes feels comfortable.

23

: 00:01:37

Let's start by talking about

the self promotion paradox.

24

: 00:01:41

As we know, we help our clients take

big action, do things to push out of

25

: 00:01:47

their comfort zone, promote themselves,

their strengths, all of those things.

26

: 00:01:52

But when it comes to doing it ourselves,

this is where many of us can hit a wall.

27

: 00:01:58

If you've ever felt a knot in your stomach

at the thought of posting on social

28

: 00:02:03

media, promoting your business, emailing

your list or perhaps feeling like you're

29

: 00:02:08

emailing too often, perhaps feeling

like you're showing up online too often.

30

: 00:02:14

If you're going to networking meetings,

dreading saying your elevator pitch,

31

: 00:02:19

then you are not alone and today we

are going to really talk about this.

32

: 00:02:23

I give you some practical and

inspirational strategies to overcome this.

33

: 00:02:30

In my onboarding calls, when

someone starts working with me

34

: 00:02:34

I do an exercise where we talk

about their annual priorities.

35

: 00:02:38

Then I say the benefits of doing this and

I ask, what is the cost of not doing this?

36

: 00:02:44

And that is what I'm going to talk

about now the hidden cost of modesty.

37

: 00:02:48

You staying side on about your

achievements or how you can

38

: 00:02:52

help people isn't humility.

39

: 00:02:55

How about thinking of it

as a missed opportunity?

40

: 00:02:59

I really liked to think of this as

your clients are out there and they

41

: 00:03:03

need to know you exist and they

need to hear your way of saying it.

42

: 00:03:08

I had a new client start this week,

who was saying, oh, there's already

43

: 00:03:11

somebody in this space completely

dominating that particular industry.

44

: 00:03:16

I said, well, what some meant to do

if they don't particularly like her

45

: 00:03:20

or they don't gel with her approach?

46

: 00:03:23

You know, just, just think, oh,

well, I'll just have to stay stuck

47

: 00:03:26

then, because you know, there's

no one who resonates with me.

48

: 00:03:30

I love to think about this self promotion

word as active serving your ideal clients.

49

: 00:03:37

Really think about marketing as

helping your ideal client move forward.

50

: 00:03:41

You aren't promoting your service.

51

: 00:03:44

You are helping them take small steps

in the right direction, inspiring them

52

: 00:03:49

to start changing their beliefs, to see

wherever it is they want to achieve is

53

: 00:03:52

possible for them and perhaps eventually

taking that extra step towards you and

54

: 00:03:58

working with you if they choose to.

55

: 00:04:01

Again, I was hearing a lot of resistance

from my client about being a career

56

: 00:04:06

coach and someone saying, well, I want

you to get me this type of job and, you

57

: 00:04:11

know, be a hun headhunter, essentially.

58

: 00:04:14

You know, that particular

client isn't for you.

59

: 00:04:18

It's like if I were to just quit my

business coaching job, because one person

60

: 00:04:23

asked me to do their social media for

them, then I wouldn't be in business now.

61

: 00:04:28

Really think about the amount

of people there are in the world

62

: 00:04:31

and you only need a few of them.

63

: 00:04:33

Yes, thousands and thousands of people.

64

: 00:04:35

Will consume this podcast, my marketing

social media email list and only a very

65

: 00:04:42

small percentage of those will become

clients and that's absolutely okay.

66

: 00:04:46

And what we really want to do is know

that we want to serve that particular

67

: 00:04:52

group of ideal clients whether or

not, they eventually become clients.

68

: 00:04:59

We obviously hope that they

do because we know that then

69

: 00:05:01

they will get the best results.

70

: 00:05:03

Even if you improve someone's

life, just a small bit.

71

: 00:05:07

Is that not worth overcoming

your ego of self promotion?

72

: 00:05:12

Another way to reframe this is that you

aren't talking about how great you are.

73

: 00:05:17

You are talking about your client's

problems and solutions to their problems.

74

: 00:05:23

You don't have to go round saying,

oh, I've got 20 years experience in

75

: 00:05:26

this and I'm brilliant at that and it

doesn't have to feel like it's your CV.

76

: 00:05:31

All people really care about

is what's in it for them.

77

: 00:05:35

Take a moment now to think about how

many people could benefit from your

78

: 00:05:40

expertise if only they knew about it.

79

: 00:05:44

I know this is very easy to say a

much harder to do so let's address

80

: 00:05:49

the psychology behind this self

promotion and why so many of us

81

: 00:05:54

feel resistance to doing this?

82

: 00:05:57

Because it isn't just an ego thing, even

though I just go to my soapbox about that.

83

: 00:06:02

There are so many other reasons at play

and it's probably why I genuinely went

84

: 00:06:08

for counseling for the first time in my

whole life when I started my business.

85

: 00:06:13

Because so much of this hidden

trauma really came up of

86

: 00:06:17

being seen, being visible.

87

: 00:06:20

Thinking about my views and how to share

them, because I felt like I didn't know

88

: 00:06:25

who I was and who I was serving well

enough to really show up and do this.

89

: 00:06:29

Let's talk about the main

psychological and social factors

90

: 00:06:34

at play in this resistance.

91

: 00:06:37

The first one, we will all

know well is imposter syndrome.

92

: 00:06:40

We are always learning and in grow.

93

: 00:06:43

We will all be very aware of

this from helping our clients.

94

: 00:06:47

But we will also feel it ourselves and

we can feel like we are not an expert

95

: 00:06:52

to promote our services confidently.

96

: 00:06:55

I had a client start this week who

said, despite having 20 years experience

97

: 00:07:01

that she didn't feel like an expert

and I said to her, my definition of

98

: 00:07:06

an expert is the person who knows

more about a topic in an average room.

99

: 00:07:11

I said to her, if you're at that

networking fan, do you know more

100

: 00:07:15

about your particular topic than

most of the people in the room?

101

: 00:07:19

She's like yes most definitely.

102

: 00:07:21

So really step into that expert status.

103

: 00:07:25

People love feeling your certainty and

you claiming out will really help the

104

: 00:07:30

energy in everything else you share.

105

: 00:07:33

Let's talk about the likability factor.

106

: 00:07:36

This was a big one for me.

107

: 00:07:37

I had been a real chameleon, my whole

life saying what my bosses wanted

108

: 00:07:42

me to say, trying to behave like

they wanted me to behave, trying

109

: 00:07:46

to fit in all of those things.

110

: 00:07:49

And I think, especially for women, there

is that social expectation to be modest.

111

: 00:07:56

We can tend to build relationships based

on putting ourselves down essentially

112

: 00:08:02

and it's probably why my friendship group

has changed massively since I became a

113

: 00:08:07

coach, because I realized that that's

what a lot of women do is we talk about

114

: 00:08:12

my kid was up in the night last night,

and then someone has say, oh, well, my

115

: 00:08:16

kid wakes up five times a night and it's

like, who can have like the worst life?

116

: 00:08:21

I suddenly realized.

117

: 00:08:23

I didn't want to be part of

those discussions anymore.

118

: 00:08:25

I wanted to talk about how we could be

better and not get into this kind of

119

: 00:08:30

whinge Fest that can easily become a case.

120

: 00:08:33

Don't get me wrong.

121

: 00:08:34

I'm no angel, but I do think that

like ability factor brings out that

122

: 00:08:39

tendency to pretend that we haven't

got it all sassed, but most of the

123

: 00:08:44

time we actually make things out

to be worse than they actually are.

124

: 00:08:50

When someone says to me, wow,

you're so lucky to have your own

125

: 00:08:52

business and do it around the kids.

126

: 00:08:55

I always immediately go back, say

yeah but, you know, don't forget,

127

: 00:08:58

you can never switch off ., try

and bring out all the negatives.

128

: 00:09:01

So they like me more.

129

: 00:09:03

And I'm becoming way more

conscious of this now because in

130

: 00:09:06

marketing, you want to be Marmite.

131

: 00:09:10

If you are Vanilla, then you just blend

in with the crowd, everyone scrolls by.

132

: 00:09:15

You need to start being able to share your

views, even if someone might not agree.

133

: 00:09:20

That come feel really very hard.

134

: 00:09:23

I do think it's a journey and

the only way you get better is by

135

: 00:09:26

continuously sharing your views.

136

: 00:09:29

Starting to look at your data.

137

: 00:09:31

Look at your top posts,

for example, on LinkedIn.

138

: 00:09:34

You will see that it's the ones that make

you feel physically sick to share that

139

: 00:09:39

are usually the popular ones, because

people love hearing your point of view.

140

: 00:09:43

The final one I will cover on why we feel

resistance to sharing is authenticity.

141

: 00:09:50

Many of us feel like it might compromise

our authenticity and make us feel salesy.

142

: 00:09:57

Make us feel like we're just in

this for the money that's why

143

: 00:10:00

we're promoting our service.

144

: 00:10:02

Maybe people will think that we

don't care about them because

145

: 00:10:05

we're charging for our service.

146

: 00:10:06

That type of thing can really come up.

147

: 00:10:08

I think if you have any of these three

factors coming up acknowledging them

148

: 00:10:15

is the first step to overcoming them.

149

: 00:10:19

Let's now reframe self promotion

because I genuinely believe that

150

: 00:10:24

it is about service, not sales.

151

: 00:10:28

I felt a huge resistance yesterday

when I was in a WhatsApp group

152

: 00:10:31

and people were sharing really

needing my help on something.

153

: 00:10:36

They were talking about pricing

and packaging and coaching.

154

: 00:10:38

And I was really hesitant, avoided

the message for hours and hours.

155

: 00:10:42

They weren't particularly asking me.

156

: 00:10:44

It's not my group.

157

: 00:10:45

Which is kind of why I was feeling

the resistance of if I comment

158

: 00:10:49

helpful comment they'll think you're

just trying to sell your service.

159

: 00:10:53

About five hours later, I overcame

this and thought, do you know what?

160

: 00:10:57

I can really help these people move

forward on this and by me not sharing

161

: 00:11:02

because I think they might think

that I'm trying to sell my thing I'm

162

: 00:11:06

actually doing them a disservice.

163

: 00:11:08

I just provided really long, really

helpful replies to their comments and

164

: 00:11:14

gained a lot of support and hopefully

really help shift these beliefs.

165

: 00:11:19

Let's reframe it self promotion

isn't about inflating, your ego

166

: 00:11:24

it's about serving your audience.

167

: 00:11:28

In order for them to know

that you are the right person.

168

: 00:11:31

Yes.

169

: 00:11:31

You may have to share your

successes and capabilities.

170

: 00:11:35

You are not bragging.

171

: 00:11:36

You are showing them that you are the

person that can help them to move forward.

172

: 00:11:41

You will enable them to make informed

decisions about what they want to do

173

: 00:11:46

and whether they want to work with you.

174

: 00:11:48

If you don't give them the information

they need, then they will never

175

: 00:11:52

know if you are the right fit.

176

: 00:11:54

Let me introduce my clear methods

to helping you promote yourself

177

: 00:11:58

effectively and authentically.

178

: 00:12:01

Firstly, connect with your, why.

179

: 00:12:04

Remember the reason you became a coach?

180

: 00:12:07

Let that passion for what you do really

shine through in all that you do.

181

: 00:12:12

It sounds like a wishy-washy thing to

do, but it really makes a difference.

182

: 00:12:17

Second step is lead with value.

183

: 00:12:21

Instead of talking about how great you are

focus on the transformation and the sorts

184

: 00:12:26

of results that your clients will get.

185

: 00:12:28

Also try and solve their problems.

186

: 00:12:30

If you can help them to take

one small step in the right

187

: 00:12:35

direction than they did yesterday.

188

: 00:12:37

Then when it comes to the time that

they are ready to take action they

189

: 00:12:40

will think yeah, that was the person

that gave me that mindset shift.

190

: 00:12:45

Our third step is

evidence-based storytelling.

191

: 00:12:48

Use case studies and concrete

results to illustrate your impact.

192

: 00:12:53

I think I'd spoke about this in a

previous episode that I have absolutely

193

: 00:12:57

masses of case studies and social proof.

194

: 00:12:59

I really need to utilize it more often.

195

: 00:13:01

I'm talking about upping my game to

twice a week sharing case studies.

196

: 00:13:08

I do know someone who actually

shares every single day.

197

: 00:13:11

I think if, for example, you use Instagram

stories, then that's really easy to do.

198

: 00:13:17

I personally use LinkedIn, so it feels

a lot to post a testimonial or a case

199

: 00:13:22

study every single day but I really

do think I could do it twice a week.

200

: 00:13:26

That is what I am intending to do.

201

: 00:13:28

Going forward to really up my game

on evidence-based storytelling.

202

: 00:13:33

Our fourth point is authentic voice.

203

: 00:13:35

Promote yourself in a way that feels true

to you, your personality, your values.

204

: 00:13:41

If you're funny, be

funny in your marketing.

205

: 00:13:44

If you're serious, be

serious in your marketing.

206

: 00:13:47

Really think about how

you can bring it in.

207

: 00:13:50

For example, one of my

clients is in fashion.

208

: 00:13:53

She was talking about having

a branding photo shoot.

209

: 00:13:56

Maybe in a dress store

or something like that.

210

: 00:13:59

I think it's a great idea.

211

: 00:14:01

The more you can do to bring your passions

and experience into everything that you

212

: 00:14:05

do, the more successful you will be.

213

: 00:14:08

My fifth point to my clear methodology

is regular consistent sharing.

214

: 00:14:13

Make this self promotion a habit, not a

one-time event, the more you do something,

215

: 00:14:19

the less sensitized you will become to it.

216

: 00:14:23

You know what it's like when you

first put out your social media

217

: 00:14:25

posts, it takes months of exhausting

energy just to do that one thing.

218

: 00:14:31

Before you know it, when you are a

consistent poster, you just hit post

219

: 00:14:34

you're closed on the tab and you carry

on with your life because you have become

220

: 00:14:37

used to that level of discomfort that now

it makes the uncomfortable, comfortable.

221

: 00:14:43

So keep doing it as much as you can.

222

: 00:14:47

As a final motivator . Let's talk about

the ripple effects of self-promotion.

223

: 00:14:52

Every single time you promote

yourself effectively, you are not

224

: 00:14:56

just growing your own business.

225

: 00:14:58

You are also inspiring other coaches

to step up and share their value.

226

: 00:15:03

You are showing potential clients

what's possible for them and you are

227

: 00:15:06

elevating our industry as a whole.

228

: 00:15:10

Something I really want to get better at

is talking about money because I often

229

: 00:15:15

say that the reason I do this work.

230

: 00:15:18

Is to help women make money, which took me

a long time to say, but what I've realized

231

: 00:15:22

is the only reason I went into this work

is seeing other coaches talk about it and

232

: 00:15:27

me thinking is really possible for me.

233

: 00:15:31

I noticed my own resistance in

talking about this and my client's

234

: 00:15:35

resistance in talking about this.

235

: 00:15:37

I had a potential client reach out to

me yesterday and said, I want to know,

236

: 00:15:41

like in figures what your clients make.

237

: 00:15:44

And the problem is many of them have asked

me to edit that out of our case studies.

238

: 00:15:50

I had one recently who said online I made

25,000 from this program in the three

239

: 00:15:56

months that I was working with you and

then she was like, oh my God, I don't

240

: 00:16:00

want anyone to know how much I'm earning.

241

: 00:16:02

Do you mind taking that out?

242

: 00:16:03

I've had another client who has

just had her first 10 K month.

243

: 00:16:07

But people feel really nervous.

244

: 00:16:09

Like they're bragging.

245

: 00:16:11

Say my type of clients generally

won't say the amount probably because

246

: 00:16:15

I don't also say the amount, I

really want to become better at that.

247

: 00:16:20

In terms of knowing whether clients have

achieved results, I would say, look at

248

: 00:16:25

my website, for example, and you will

see them say, got five corporate clients

249

: 00:16:30

and know that my clients don't do one

off 50 pound or a hundred pound coaching.

250

: 00:16:36

If they've gained a client, it's

going to be a thousand pounds plus

251

: 00:16:40

and obviously if it's an organization,

it's more likely to be closer to

252

: 00:16:43

10,000 pounds for that one project.

253

: 00:16:46

Read between the lines to know if

people are making money there is this

254

: 00:16:52

huge resistance to promoting yourself

and showing how well you are doing.

255

: 00:16:57

I really need to lead from the front

hair and start showing everybody

256

: 00:17:01

how well I am doing in order to

inspire my clients to do the same.

257

: 00:17:07

As we finish today's episode, I would

love to invite you to share one client

258

: 00:17:11

success story or one aspect of your

coaching that you are proud of on

259

: 00:17:16

whatever social media platform you use.

260

: 00:17:19

Think about how it feels, notice any

resistance and remind yourself that by

261

: 00:17:23

doing this, you are helping that one

person he might need to hear it today.

262

: 00:17:29

I hope that was really helpful

for you to move forward.

263

: 00:17:32

I cannot wait to see your

social posts out there.

264

: 00:17:36

And like I say, at the end of every

episode, trust yourself, believe

265

: 00:17:39

in yourself and be the wise Gardner

who keeps on watering the seed.

266

: 00:17:46

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):

Thank you so much for listening to this

267

: 00:17:48

episode of Women in the Coaching Arena.

268

: 00:17:51

I have a mess of free resources on

my website joannalottcoaching.com.

269

: 00:17:57

That's Joanna with an A

and Lott with two T's.

270

: 00:18:01

joannalottcoaching.com.

271

: 00:18:03

And I'll also put links in the show notes.

272

: 00:18:07

Let me know if you found

this episode useful.

273

: 00:18:10

Share it with a friend and

leave me a review, and I will

274

: 00:18:13

personally thank you for that.

275

: 00:18:16

Remember to trust yourself, believe

in yourself and be the wise Gardner

276

: 00:18:20

who keeps on watering the seed.

277

: 00:18:22

Get into the arena dare, greatly and try.