6 | 4 Steps to Tackling Imposter Syndrome

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Hello and welcome to episode six of [00:00:30] Women in the Coaching Arena. Today I'm going to talk about four steps to tackling imposter syndrome as a coach.

Maybe you feel like everyone [: 00:01:00

If you are nodding along to any of this, then you may have the feelings of imposter syndrome. It's a collection of feelings or emotions that stop us living life to its fullest, and it's very common, especially when you're doing something out of your comfort zone like training to become a coach or launch[00:01:30] ing and growing your coaching business, but it cleverly fools us into thinking that we are the only ones feeling this way. I ran a poll of women at the Women of Silicon Roundabout conference in London, so I was standing in a room running this workshop of over a hundred talented women from huge, huge companies, and everyone looked amazing. Everyone looked confident in control.

And it [: 00:02:00

83% of those in the room believe that others are more intelligent than them.

83% said they seek external validation, yet don't fully believe it when it comes.

iscover how little they know.[: 00:02:30

75% say that when people praise them, that they fear that they won't live up to expectations.

55% said that when they succeed, they have doubts about whether they can do it again, and

49% said that they feel that their success is down to luck.

at you are not alone. It's a [: 00:03:00

Adele, the amazing singer, openly shared that she experiences the feelings of imposter syndrome whenever she's about to perform.

is so great. I have written [: 00:03:30

So let's start with you are not an imposter. You are having big feelings because being a brilliant coach means a lot to you.

with feelings of self-doubt. [: 00:04:00

You have higher expectations of yourself and put things off until they are perfect. You feel like you don't know what you're doing, even though you've done it before. You procrastinate feeling like you'll be ready when you finish that next training course. Oh, yes, I've seen that one a [00:04:30] lot. And maybe you are always comparing yourself with others, even though they are at a different starting point to you.

here was nowhere to hide and [: 00:05:00

There were legal requirements and policies to adhere to, and I was very good at it. I have always been really, really good at doing things right, you know, the whole good girl syndrome. I know the rules and I know how to play them, and I will play [00:05:30] by the book every single time. And when I started coaching, I was lost in all of the grey, all of this it emerges. You build on the previous response, you dance in the moment, I was completely out of my depth. I wanted to know what was right and wrong, but all of a sudden I had absolutely no idea of the right thing to do. There was nothing I could do to plan for this perfect coaching session because. [00:06:00] It emerges as my coach constantly told me. All of this reflecting what could have been better? What did I learn?

he body life or death threat [: 00:06:30

I was starting as a beginner for the first time in 20 [00:07:00] years, all of this reflection, and I realized I just could not complete the column. What went well? I was so out of touch with ever giving myself any praise or compliments that I just couldn't bear to think anything good about me. But of course, I could complete the what could be better column very, very easily. So all of this being visible and being judged [00:07:30] just felt really, really awful to me.

And it multiplied when I started out in business and I had to tell people I know what I was doing and then show up on social media. So all of that worry about previously having a really good job that everyone thought that's great, and then suddenly everyone was like, what is this weird thing you are doing?

friends and family for help [: 00:08:00

So let's start with the first point, which is uncover the roots of the imposter syndrome.

nd this doesn't mean that we [: 00:09:00

So the emotional rather than the rational part of the [00:09:30] brain usually wins the argument, and we can end up treating ourselves in a way that we would never treat anyone else because we are not good enough and should be better.

So, reflect on the following questions.

Why do the needs of others come before me?

Why do you let the feelings of imposter syndrome get in the way?

So what's in it for you? On [: 00:10:00

What's the impact of this imposter syndrome feeling on your personal and professional life? So what's it holding you back from?

which would have the biggest [: 00:10:30

Let's move on to the second step now. So knowing your imposter syndrome [00:11:00] script. So we need to acknowledge where we are today, where we have got stuck in our development journey and grow from that point. So during our childhood, we're often told things about ourselves, which lead us to decide the way that we need to be in the world.

y branded me as shy. So, oh, [: 00:11:30

They laughed out loud and said, Jo, you are not shy and now I train wonderful, clever, talented coaches to build brilliant businesses so you can move from that point that you [00:12:30] may be stuck in your development path and do the thing that you thought you could never, never do and find out, it's literally your idea of absolute heaven. So I've since presented at large scale events in person, like the one I mentioned earlier for the Women of Silicon Roundabout, and I've loved it. I've hosted trainings to 500 plus coaches in one go, and enjoyed every moment. Things that [00:13:00] I just never thought I could do.

you. Like, what would you do [: 00:13:30

And these limiting beliefs were not holding you back from fulfilling your absolute potential.

think again tomorrow because [: 00:14:00

So know it, acknowledge it, and challenge it.

So have a think about these questions. What is your inner critic saying to you? Is that a helpful thought? Is that gonna move you to a potential or is it gonna limit you?

And if it [: 00:14:30

I'd been told it and I'd told myself it for 40 years. So it's not something that my head could [00:15:00] manage because it was such an ingrained thought. So do write it out and in a rational way, look for the evidence for and against. Then think about what your wisest friend or family member would say to you if they heard the script that you're telling to yourself.

Reflect on what successes you've had and take time to enjoy those successes.

conds for a positive thought [: 00:15:30

So we may think, yay, I've launched a bestselling book, or I've got my first paying client, and then within a few seconds we'll think, but that was lucky, or that will never happen again. So really do acknowledge that that is what your [00:16:00] brain does. So think about ways of getting to over 60 seconds of positive feelings.

I've really found a gratitude journal helps because. You're writing it down so you can stay in that thought a lot longer than you can in your own head.

So affirmations start with I [: 00:16:30

So let's move on to step three, Rewrite [00:17:30] your Imposter Syndrome story. So question that current script that you've got going on in your head and rewrite it. So we are not our stories. Take time to clearly understand your story and become aware of those negative thoughts through journaling and reflection.

f you have the identity of a [: 00:18:00

So write your thoughts down for 20 minutes a day for a week and reframe them. So is it true [00:19:00] or is it an automatic emotional response?

What is the story that you want to create? So what is the desired vision for your future?

urvival mode when you have a [: 00:19:30

So it sounds a bit grand, but it has genuinely kept me going through the ups and downs of building a business.

step four. Reprioritize your [: 00:20:30

And often these superpowers come so naturally to you that you might not realize that they are actually something special. This is something I [00:21:00] prioritize in my program, the business of coaching, because I want every single coach I work with to know what they are brilliant at.

Because if they feel good, if they feel needed, then they will take action. And action is what it takes to build a brilliant coaching business.

m often. So let's reflect on [: 00:21:30

So what energizes you and makes you feel strong? Keep a track of how you spend the next couple of days.

rilliant at it's really easy [: 00:22:00

This one is brilliant to pull [00:22:30] out prior to a discovery call or any time you are feeling nervous or disheartened in your business. And finally start a nightly gratitude journal. This genuinely trains your brains to look for the positive rather than negative thoughts. I have done mine for about three years now, and I send a welcome gift to anyone who works with me, and it always includes a gratitude journal.

cause like Brene Brown says, [: 00:23:00

So writing down is a really great way to stay in that good feeling for longer. And as you worked through the reflections in this podcast, you'll identify the thoughts which are holding you back and get clear on how to reframe them. It does take practice. You have probably been saying all of these unhelpful thoughts for a really, really long [00:23:30] time, but you can, with practice, truly start to see yourself and the brilliance that you bring to the world.

So let me summarize today's episode. Firstly, you are not an imposter. You are having big feelings because you are pushing out of your comfort zone and your work matters. Plus you are actually self-reflective enough to notice these thoughts, and as my coach always tells me, emotional intelligence is one of the greatest indicators of success.

So [: 00:24:00

Third rewrite your imposter syndrome story. So question your current story and [00:24:30] rewrite it. And fourthly, reprioritize your authentic self. So build that sense of self and work through the resistance to fulfill your potential. We came into this world with unique abilities and nobody else is the same as you.

And the question is not Who am I to do this work? It's actually, Who am I not to?

ild my business, and I truly [: 00:25:00

And like I say at the end of every episode, trust yourself. Believe in yourself and be the wise gardener who keeps on sowing the seed.

LinkedIn is Joanna Lott and [: 00:25:30

Let me know if you found this episode useful. Share it with a friend and leave me a review, and I will personally thank you for that. Thank you so much for listening. Speak soon.