116 | The Business Benefits of an Alcohol-Free Life with Chloe Myers

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Hello and welcome to Women in

the Coaching Arena podcast.

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I'm so glad you are here.

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I'm Jo Lott, a business mentor

and ICF accredited coach

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Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):

and I help coaches to

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build brilliant businesses.

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I know that when you prepare to enter

the arena, there is fear, self doubt,

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comparison, anxiety, uncertainty.

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You can tend to armor up and

protect yourself from vulnerability.

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In this podcast, I'll be sharing

honest, not hype, practical and

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emotional tools to support you to make

the difference that you are here for.

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Dare greatly.

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You belong in this arena.

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Hello, welcome to this episode

of Women in the Coaching Arena.

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I am so glad you are here.

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Today I'm speaking with Chloe Myers,

who is a coach and business owner

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who made a powerful decision that has

completely changed her life and her work.

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She gave up alcohol.

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In this conversation, Chloe will share how

choosing an alcohol free life has brought

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her more confidence, energy, and success,

both personally and professionally.

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We'll talk about the strong drinking

culture that many of us grew up with,

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how it impacts our ability to think

clearly and why so many business owners

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are now choosing a different path.

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So if you have ever wondered about the

link between your habits and your business

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growth, then you are gonna find this

conversation really thought provoking.

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Hi, Chloe.

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Thank you for agreeing to be a guest

on Women in the Coaching Arena.

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I am so glad you are here.

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So, Chloe was a previous client of mine.

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She is an amazing coach.

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She is an amazing business owner.

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She takes huge action, and she also niched

down into helping people live a, do you

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call it a sober, how do you phrase this?

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You have a certain way of phrasing it.

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Tell me more, Chloe.

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I mean, yeah, I like alcohol free, but

I like sobriety because it's, it's the

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thing that you get, not the thing you're

giving up, but also, I don't know,

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the word sober implies kind of AA and

recovery, which isn't quite my vibe.

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I actually don't feel like I've got

quite the right word for it yet.

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That's it.

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Alcohol free.

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I knew you had a different way of

saying it so thank you for sharing.

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So I would love to hear your journey

of going alcohol free and how that's

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led you to what you're doing now.

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Yeah, so I was a, a big drinker.

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I would say I was like a professional

drinker rather than a problem drinker.

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So.

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You know, I, I was really good at it.

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I drank all the time, but I, you know,

I was managing my life pretty well.

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I think some people might

call it functional, alcoholic.

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but I mean, I don't feel like I

was that extreme by any means.

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And obviously, we all have those

niggles over the years, you know,

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where you wake up and you're

like, I'm never drinking again.

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And then it's like two o'clock

that afternoon and the sun comes

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out and you're in a beer garden

somewhere, drinking again.

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so I had, lots of.

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Times where I thought about stopping or

where I tried, or I'd do a dry January.

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And then when I was reviewing my first

year of coaching clients, so this

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was like really general coaching.

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No niche whatsoever.

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You'd have told me off.

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but I got to the end of the year and I

was, I was home educating at that time.

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My son and I, we did it as a bit of a

project to evaluate the clients I'd worked

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with and like what were the common themes

and you know, male and female and age

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groups and what did I meet them online

or in person, all that sort of thing.

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And it just hadn't been so blindingly

obvious when I was doing the coaching,

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but reflecting back on it, I had half

of my clients were working towards

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whatever goal they were working

towards, and alcohol would come up as

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something that was slowing them down.

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And then the other half were

just absolutely smashing life.

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And they were doing amazing,

amazing things and they'd come

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to coaching to like do even more.

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And then I realized, like at

some point all of those people

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told me that they don't drink.

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so one of them through coaching,

she was headhunted for her

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dream job, doubled her salary.

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And so I asked her, how

are you going to celebrate?

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And she just said, I don't drink anymore.

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So I'm get a book spa day and.

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It was that moment where I was like, oh,

I've never like heard someone say that.

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Not like I can't drink or

I'm an alcoholic, but like

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just I choose not to drink.

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And so I just realized there

was something in it and I really

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needed to seriously give it a try.

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And so I did and it was life

changing and I haven't looked back.

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Wow.

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And do you mean give it a try as

in niching down to this or do you

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mean giving up alcohol yourself?

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Yeah, giving up alcohol myself.

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I was already coaching and

we were working together.

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I was, trying all different

niches all the time.

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And then I just realized, oh, like

everyone keeps asking me how on earth

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they stopped drinking because they

knew me before and they couldn't

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compute how this professional drinker

had suddenly become this sober

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person and seemed so happy with it.

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People would come and talk

to me about it and say yeah

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like, I really want to do

it, but, but, but, and so.

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I was asked about it at a party.

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We're on this amazing boat party,

goes out to sea, and obviously

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it's a, there's a band downstairs,

there's a band upstairs on the boat

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and you're watching the sunset.

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It's gorgeous.

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And I wasn't drinking and so many

people talked to me about it and

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asked me how they could do the same.

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And how on earth was I doing it?

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And literally that next day,

I made the whole of my sober

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and sunny course in one day.

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So I was like, okay,

I've got an idea here.

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And as you said at the

beginning, I'm an action taker.

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I can't help myself.

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If I have an idea, I'm

gonna do it straight away.

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And it's such a good course.

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I actually need to open it up again.

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'cause as you know, I have

always wanted to stop drinking.

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And I did your course and I managed an

entire three months of no booze at all.

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And I went to weddings.

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I did all sorts of things that previously

you would've thought, you just can't do

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that without having a drink in your hand.

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And then my downfall was going to France,

and as you know, I love champagne.

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And they talked about having

champagne in the hot tub in France.

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And then I thought, oh, well, I'll just.

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Make an exception and then obviously

you make your exception and then

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it's just a slippery slope, isn't it?

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So I need to revisit your course

'cause it was amazing for me, the

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entire process from really thinking

about why you want to do it.

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I guess that, total life

upgrade that I think I called

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it at the time of everything is

better patience with the kids.

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Sleep is better.

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The clarity of thinking

for my work was better.

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I earned more money in

that quarter as well.

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So yeah, I really hear you

on the Total Life upgrade.

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So you've got the rest of this call

to talk me back into logging back in.

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Yeah.

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And the point was you met your goal, you

set a hundred day goal, and you met that.

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So, you know, no shame whatsoever.

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Like you did what you set out to do.

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I know so many people that would

do a year off, they'd lose all

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this weight and they felt amazing.

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And then they'd get to the end of the

year and they're like, oh, I did that.

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I've proven I'm not an alcoholic, and then

they're straight back into their old ways.

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It's not even that they

drink less than they used to.

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They go straight back

to how they used to be.

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And this is the issue also with dry

January, for example, where when you

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are looking forward to the end date,

when you're counting down that 31

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days or a hundred days or whatever

it is, then basically you are, you're

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still putting alcohol on a pedestal

and you're looking forward to it, and

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that means that you feel like you're

depriving yourself and you're challenging

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yourself, and therefore it's hard.

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But if instead you're focused on more

sleep, being more connected with your

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kids, making more money, if you're

focused on all the things you're getting,

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like why would you choose alcohol?

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And this is my thing, it's about

finding new ways to work, rest,

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and play , and having alcohol as

just one option of many rather than.

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The things you immediately do after a

stressful day or when you see your friends

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or when you're celebrating, rather than it

being your go-to solution for everything.

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You find all these other things

that you can do and then eventually

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you're like, oh yeah, I'm just not

gonna choose alcohol 'cause it's

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not as good as the other choices.

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So true, isn't it?

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And it is definitely that association in

your head, which is obviously probably.

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Planted.

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You know, literally from childhood.

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Mm-hmm.

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Let's have a drink.

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Oh, had a terrible day.

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Let's have a drink.

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So I love the idea of finding other

hobbies, and that's exactly what happened

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because you've suddenly got the energy

to do different things in the evening.

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Mm-hmm.

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Than just collapse, you know, with

a wine to relax at the end of a day.

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So tell me more about how your life

journey has been since giving up in

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terms of that total life upgrade and

things you've noticed, and obviously

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any other clients and things as well.

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You become a whole new you.

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And in my case, I feel like I've

reconnected with my 14-year-old

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self from before I started drinking.

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So like I just love reading and

having baths and going for walks

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and like just much more kind of.

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Quiet.

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whereas, and I think I'd used alcohol

to become who I thought I was supposed

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to be or to like be a bigger, louder,

more extroverted version of myself.

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And I feel like I've much more

got in touch with who I really am.

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And obviously in coaching we're

always talking about being

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more authentic, aren't we?

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And I found like that's really helped

me and to feel more confident because.

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Probably my drinking started

to help me feel more confident.

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but I'm so much more confident now 'cause

I'm just so much stronger in who I am.

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My husband and I just, we weren't

compatible anymore, so we separated.

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So we've had quite a lot of

stuff go on, which is all good.

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We are really good friends.

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But in terms of in my

clients, just seeing them.

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Saying, you know, like everyone keeps

telling me, I look 10 years younger

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and I had one client who he was on

the waiting list for knee surgery

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and he lost so much weight that

he came off of that waiting list.

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No longer needs surgery.

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Had a client, just in the last couple

of weeks message me and say I've

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had to double all of my financial

goals because they're too easy.

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And they were really stretchy

when we started working together.

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you know, people dating for the first

time going on their first ever sober first

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dates, which is a terrifying experience.

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I have also been through that,

fairly recently, so, I mean, just

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all kinds of unexpected successes.

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I think people really worry that they're

gonna become less connected with their

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friends and they're gonna feel lonely.

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and what you actually find is

your friendships just really

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change and the friendships are

important to you get stronger.

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And the more peripheral ones that

were just convenient 'cause they

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could go on to the pub at the same

time as you, they kind of fade out.

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But it's a choice.

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It's not that they've

shunned you, but like.

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If they are the kind of friends

that are gonna shun you, then you

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realize like, I don't actually

want to be friends with you anyway.

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So I'm quite happy with that solution.

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so yeah, so people obviously come

to it wanting one thing, like for

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me sleep was a huge part of it.

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But then the benefits that you

see are just so much wider.

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It's, it's everything.

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And so, yeah.

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I love hearing people's stories

of how, how it's impacted them

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in ways that they didn't see.

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I've, like one, one woman

I've been working with, she's

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completely changed her career.

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She's left, an unhappy relationship

that she felt quite stuck in.

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She's passed her driving test,

she's got back into pain.

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Like just the things that she has

changed in her life in a really short

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space of time are just incredible.

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And I mean, in my first six

months of sobriety, I wrote

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and self-published my book.

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So you just, you've got all that

time and energy and you use it.

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Partly it's, that's almost a

coping mechanism because sitting

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with your feelings is quite hard.

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So you start doing stuff all the time,

like reconnecting with hobbies and old

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friends and yeah, it's just wonderful.

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Yeah, totally.

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It really is that energy, isn't it?

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Even if I have one glass of wine.

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I don't sleep the same.

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I wake up a little bit grouchy, and

therefore it's a vicious cycle, isn't it?

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Mm-hmm.

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Because then you are so exhausted, all

you wanna do is sit on the sofa and

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have a drink rather than go out and

have an amazing time doing something.

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Yeah, it's the friends.

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I mean, nine times out

of 10, that's the thing.

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So people will say to me, you

know, like, I don't even really

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like drinking that much anymore.

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Or you know, it just

ruins my whole weekend.

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It's not worth it.

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And I think I could stop.

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I did dry January and I

really enjoyed it, but.

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I've never, like all of my

friends drink all the time.

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That's the only way we socialize and

I'll just, what will I do with my time?

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Because I won't wanna hang out with like,

will I still be able to go to the pub?

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And that's the barrier, but it's

about recognizing that it's okay

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for friendships to change as you

kind of grow and evolve and become a

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different person, your friendships.

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Of course they're going to change

and, change is scary, isn't it?

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And it's, it's the unknown.

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And especially, you know,

where I live, there is such a

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strong drinking culture here.

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And I would always comment on this when

the children were little, like the

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dads would go out and go to the pub.

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But for the mums, we never allowed

ourselves to just meet up for

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a coffee or to go to the pub.

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We always would exercise.

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But really it was just so we could

go to the pub, so we'd go rowing

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or go for a run or something.

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But really we were just, because

we were exercising, we were doing

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a good thing, so we were allowed

to go to the pub afterwards.

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And so I'm very lucky.

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I live by the sea, so we've got lots

of beaches here and there are certain

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beaches that I had to avoid for like

a full year or a full summer because

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they were so associated with drinking

for me and then other beaches aren't.

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So I was fine.

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I still had plenty of beach time.

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but it's, yeah, so some of it you

can still go to the pub, but I took

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about six weeks break and I just

didn't go anywhere near the pub

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because I just didn't want to risk it.

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I wanted to be really confident.

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In my sobriety before I even attempted it.

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And then it was fine, but

also I'm like more picky.

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I don't just go because it's Friday.

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I go because there's a band playing

that I love or that my friend is

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visiting that I want to see or you

know, there's, I go out with a purpose

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rather than just because it's Friday.

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So where do you feel like this culture

comes from and why is it so dangerous

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that drink is so widely accepted?

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So, I grew up, my dad's

an alcoholic still.

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But to me, he was my hero.

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I didn't see it as problematic.

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I could not wait to be an

adult and be able to drink.

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I can see that in my own children.

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They're teenagers now.

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one of them particularly, and

it, it's everywhere, right?

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Like, the thing that gets me is how,

if you look at greetings cards, so

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birthday cards, mother's day cards,

thank you to your teacher cards.

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They all say things like it's

GIn o'clock, Prosecco time.

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Or you know, to teachers it will say, you

know, my child is the reason you drink.

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And you know, I like didn't even bat

an eyelid at these things in the past,

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but now that I'm out of that world,

I look at that and I think I grew

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up with an alcoholic parent and I

never once believed it was my fault.

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But we tell our children that alcohol

is bad, but also that they are so bad

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that they're the reason that we drink

and just how confusing is that for them.

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But it's so ingrained in our culture.

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You know, if you go on holiday

in Spain or something and there's

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like a really rowdy group in the

nightclub, you like, you know,

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they're British and it's embarrassing.

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It is such a part of our culture.

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And this was, you know, even in lockdown,

this was Boris's thing, wasn't it?

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: 00:15:51

He couldn't imagine Brits not being

able to go to the pub for a pint.

309

: 00:15:55

And you think he was right, but

there were also so many other things.

310

: 00:15:58

But that was the thing that,

made him reluctant to lockdown.

311

: 00:16:03

So true, isn't it?

312

: 00:16:05

And it's funny, the reaction that you get.

313

: 00:16:07

when I said to my friends and things, oh,

I'm doing a hundred days of no drinking.

314

: 00:16:14

That's weird.

315

: 00:16:15

Versus when we, for example, would smoke,

people would think That's disgusting.

316

: 00:16:21

Why would you do that?

317

: 00:16:22

Because you know it's bad for you.

318

: 00:16:24

So it's funny that we have this

absolute resistance to supporting

319

: 00:16:29

someone to make healthy choices, and

it is none of anyone else's business.

320

: 00:16:34

What's in your glass?

321

: 00:16:35

Unless they're the one paying for

it, in which case they should be glad

322

: 00:16:38

that you know you're buying a cheaper

drink, but it's none of their business.

323

: 00:16:43

If you are having a lemonade

and they're having a pint or a

324

: 00:16:45

glass of wine, like who cares?

325

: 00:16:47

You're still there.

326

: 00:16:48

You are engaging in the conversation,

we've all, you know, certainly I

327

: 00:16:51

have been on both sides of that.

328

: 00:16:53

Like, oh, I'm not really drinking tonight.

329

: 00:16:54

And then everyone peer

pressures you into doing it.

330

: 00:16:57

I've been on, you know, I've definitely

peer pressured people into it as well.

331

: 00:17:01

Like, you're so boring, you're

no fun when you're not drinking.

332

: 00:17:03

And once the others are drunk,

they, you know, they don't

333

: 00:17:05

care if you're drinking or not.

334

: 00:17:07

It's just that first bit and

really it's because you're

335

: 00:17:09

shining a light on the fact.

336

: 00:17:11

That they are drinking and you

know that clearly it's triggering

337

: 00:17:15

something for them because it, why do

they care if you're drinking or not?

338

: 00:17:19

Yeah, that's so true.

339

: 00:17:20

It really is triggering and there is

a huge uptake of no drinking amongst

340

: 00:17:26

entrepreneurs that I've noticed.

341

: 00:17:28

Lots of people in my business of coaching

group, I've heard say, and I don't drink.

342

: 00:17:32

People in my mastermind have

completely stopped as well.

343

: 00:17:36

Mm-hmm so have you seen that upturn.

344

: 00:17:39

Yes.

345

: 00:17:40

I go to all these coaching events

and networking things and almost

346

: 00:17:45

always the people who I meet where

I'm like, you really inspire me.

347

: 00:17:48

Let's go out afterward.

348

: 00:17:49

Let's go and get a drink.

349

: 00:17:50

And they'll be like, oh,

I actually don't drink.

350

: 00:17:51

I'm like, yeah.

351

: 00:17:52

Like that's fine.

352

: 00:17:53

I mean like at Becks Blue or whatever.

353

: 00:17:56

So yeah, I find nine times outta 10 when

I meet someone who really inspires me,

354

: 00:18:00

it then turns out that they don't drink.

355

: 00:18:03

Mm-hmm.

356

: 00:18:03

So interesting, isn't it?

357

: 00:18:04

'cause they've got the energy

to be able to think creatively

358

: 00:18:06

and do different things.

359

: 00:18:08

So, as you know, my listeners, just

like you are coaches who are wanting

360

: 00:18:13

to grow their business, how can this

help fuel their business success?

361

: 00:18:19

So it is the time and energy.

362

: 00:18:21

It's the looking and feeling

better, so you're more confident

363

: 00:18:24

putting yourself out there.

364

: 00:18:26

It's the finding new ways to have fun,

because that will spark creativity,

365

: 00:18:31

which will help you design a new program

or just do some problem solving that

366

: 00:18:37

you might not have managed otherwise.

367

: 00:18:39

But I also think a really big part

of it is that you know my coaching

368

: 00:18:42

style, I'm quite challenging.

369

: 00:18:43

I don't let anyone, get

by with the easy answers.

370

: 00:18:47

So it's challenging ourselves and

showing that we are leading by example,

371

: 00:18:51

reminding ourselves what it's like to

be on the other side of the kind of

372

: 00:18:56

coaching experience where you're being

pushed out of your comfort zone, you're

373

: 00:18:58

being challenged to do things that are

stretchy and difficult and uncomfortable.

374

: 00:19:03

I think that's really important for

us as coaches to remember what it's

375

: 00:19:07

like for our clients who are however

many steps behind us and are sat there

376

: 00:19:12

wishing you'd just asked them an easy

question because it's like too much.

377

: 00:19:15

And I think it's really important

for us to remember that feeling and

378

: 00:19:20

keep tapping into it and showing

that we practice what we preach.

379

: 00:19:24

And that makes me think of the emotions

that we go through, because obviously most

380

: 00:19:30

of us are drinking to block out emotions.

381

: 00:19:34

I know.

382

: 00:19:35

It's certainly my first thought

if I have something bad happen.

383

: 00:19:40

I literally can sense there.

384

: 00:19:42

I think I need to stop this.

385

: 00:19:44

I can't wait to relax tonight and

to switch off, like, so it is that

386

: 00:19:50

switch off from emotions for me is

what would immediately trigger from

387

: 00:19:55

a bad, experience, for example.

388

: 00:19:57

How do you handle those

difficult experiences if you

389

: 00:20:00

can't walk out the world?

390

: 00:20:02

A piece of work I did with one of

my clients was around the transition

391

: 00:20:05

when she got home from work and

exactly what you're talking about.

392

: 00:20:08

She'd normally pour a wine or a

G&T and sit outside and drink it.

393

: 00:20:12

But instead she switched it up to

like, just getting some really nice

394

: 00:20:15

biscuits and having a really lovely

cup of tea out of her favorite mug

395

: 00:20:19

and, and that, that sort of thing.

396

: 00:20:20

So that transition.

397

: 00:20:21

But I think the, the point that I really

wanna make clear here is that it's

398

: 00:20:26

not just the difficult, it's not the

anger and the sadness and the stress.

399

: 00:20:30

It's also like celebrations

and socializing and fun.

400

: 00:20:36

And every big emotion.

401

: 00:20:38

We dull it out with alcohol.

402

: 00:20:40

So for me, and obviously those ones

don't feel so hard to experience, but

403

: 00:20:44

when you think you don't let yourself

experience those more extreme emotions,

404

: 00:20:48

like we are used to drowning them out.

405

: 00:20:50

And so for me, mindfulness

was such a big part of it.

406

: 00:20:56

You know, all the same stuff, right?

407

: 00:20:57

Mindfulness, journaling, gratitude,

all the stuff that we all talk

408

: 00:21:00

about all the time as coaches.

409

: 00:21:02

It's so important and at first, so I did

my first eight weeks, I coincided it with

410

: 00:21:07

doing an eight week mindfulness course.

411

: 00:21:09

So I basically just replaced my alcohol

addiction with mindfulness and I

412

: 00:21:14

was meditating for like two hours a

day, but I had time to do that then.

413

: 00:21:18

That worked really well for me.

414

: 00:21:19

Dealing with the emotions and I've

since trained as an emotions coach,

415

: 00:21:22

so I get to support people with all of

that in some really fun ways as well.

416

: 00:21:27

Yeah, you do.

417

: 00:21:28

It is interesting that it

is all the big emotions.

418

: 00:21:31

Even the good emotions,

it's like exciting.

419

: 00:21:35

I get to drink champagne, as you heard.

420

: 00:21:38

That was the catalyst of me,

stopping my amazing a hundred days

421

: 00:21:42

of no drinking was, oh my gosh.

422

: 00:21:45

I could sit in a hot tub in

France with a glass of champagne.

423

: 00:21:48

It was an association to, that is my idea

of heaven, the bubbles, the excitement.

424

: 00:21:56

So it's funny, isn't it?

425

: 00:21:57

How we would want to block that

out or what's going on there?

426

: 00:22:02

Yeah, and I, I mean like I hear you

because that, that's one for me as well.

427

: 00:22:07

But actually it is just as fun if you are

drinking any other bubbly drink from a

428

: 00:22:12

fancy glass, like a hot tub is always fun.

429

: 00:22:15

but I think as well that you get

quite like hot and sweaty in a

430

: 00:22:18

hot tub and the last thing you

need is to dehydrate yourself.

431

: 00:22:21

And the trouble is you keep drinking

more and more because you are hot.

432

: 00:22:24

And so I did, I did a big walk last

weekend, 18 miles, and I've done

433

: 00:22:29

this walk several times and normally

I end up in the pub afterwards.

434

: 00:22:34

But even this time I got in, I was like,

well, I've got a bit of a headache.

435

: 00:22:37

I think I've dehydrated.

436

: 00:22:39

Before, I wouldn't have

recognized that as dehydration.

437

: 00:22:41

I would've just thought it was

like my hangover starting and

438

: 00:22:44

think like how much damage was I

actually doing to myself there?

439

: 00:22:48

And the trouble is when you drink

your, your immune system is so focused

440

: 00:22:52

on fighting off the poison of the

alcohol that it can't resolve any other

441

: 00:22:57

issues that are going on in your body.

442

: 00:22:59

So the dehydration or like the

sleep, you know, all of it, you need.

443

: 00:23:06

To not drink so that your body

can look after itself properly.

444

: 00:23:09

Yeah, totally.

445

: 00:23:11

And like you say, it's not even

the feeling you want from the

446

: 00:23:14

drink, it's the excitement of

the drink being in your hand.

447

: 00:23:18

'cause I did find when I did that and I

bought all sorts of alcohol, free beer

448

: 00:23:24

and Prosecco, and it was still exciting.

449

: 00:23:28

Yeah.

450

: 00:23:28

I would be like, open a bottle of

Necco, is that what they call it?

451

: 00:23:32

Yeah.

452

: 00:23:32

And it's like three quid.

453

: 00:23:34

I want that little switch in my head

to tell me I'm having a good time

454

: 00:23:37

by this fizzy drink in my glass.

455

: 00:23:40

Yeah, and you hit all of the senses.

456

: 00:23:42

So you have the cold feeling of the

bottle, the sound of it popping,

457

: 00:23:46

the sound of the bubbles, the smell,

the taste, you know, whether it's a

458

: 00:23:49

beer or you know, a can or whatever.

459

: 00:23:52

You still have all of those sensations.

460

: 00:23:54

So it's still triggering all those things.

461

: 00:23:56

Like it was never all about the alcohol.

462

: 00:23:58

It's all of those different

things are going on for you still.

463

: 00:24:01

And so when I had a really stressful

day, I still went to the pub and got an

464

: 00:24:05

alcohol free beer, and I still did that.

465

: 00:24:07

You know that when it opens you have the

first sip, like, oh, you still get that?

466

: 00:24:12

The alcohol never was hitting

your system that quickly anyway.

467

: 00:24:16

So if someone is thinking about

having an alcohol free life.

468

: 00:24:20

What would the first steps be?

469

: 00:24:24

I think most people do start

by taking a shorter break.

470

: 00:24:27

and I think that is a really good

step, but I promise you abstinence

471

: 00:24:32

is easier than moderation.

472

: 00:24:34

So you just make the decision.

473

: 00:24:35

I'm not drinking anymore, I'm

focusing on all the things that I'm

474

: 00:24:37

gonna gain, like time and energy.

475

: 00:24:41

and then it just doesn't feel hard.

476

: 00:24:43

and I think as well, the first step

that made the difference for me doing it

477

: 00:24:47

successfully compared to all the times

where I didn't, was changing my identity.

478

: 00:24:51

So similarly to, wanting to be a coach

and an entrepreneur, you have to take

479

: 00:24:57

that identity on before it's fully true.

480

: 00:25:00

Because if you don't believe that

you're a coach and you don't believe

481

: 00:25:02

yourself as an entrepreneur, how

are you ever gonna get a client?

482

: 00:25:06

So you have to let go of your old like

party girl identity or whatever that was,

483

: 00:25:10

and take on like what is my new identity?

484

: 00:25:13

And maybe it is coach,

entrepreneur success story.

485

: 00:25:16

Like whatever identity you want to

have, like you have to take that on

486

: 00:25:20

first and let go of the old drinking

identity and then it honestly is easy.

487

: 00:25:26

And you had a great exercise in your

course of thinking about what you'll gain

488

: 00:25:31

from this period of alcohol free living.

489

: 00:25:35

tell us more about why that

purpose or why really matters.

490

: 00:25:41

So with my coaching clients quite often.

491

: 00:25:44

You'll say like, what do you want?

492

: 00:25:45

How do you want to feel?

493

: 00:25:47

And they'll really easily tell you

what they don't want or like, I

494

: 00:25:50

don't want to feel stressed anymore.

495

: 00:25:52

I don't want to feel anxious anymore.

496

: 00:25:53

And then when you switch it to, well,

how, if you didn't feel anxious, how would

497

: 00:25:58

you feel if you didn't feel stressed?

498

: 00:26:00

How would you feel?

499

: 00:26:01

And people find it really

hard, but if you can't say.

500

: 00:26:05

The thing is you're trying to get

to, you're never going to get there.

501

: 00:26:08

And even if you did, you wouldn't

recognize it because you didn't even

502

: 00:26:10

know that's what you were aiming for.

503

: 00:26:12

And so for some people, the

opposite of anxious might be calm.

504

: 00:26:16

For someone else, it might be confident.

505

: 00:26:17

For someone else, it might be happy.

506

: 00:26:19

So we can't assume that.

507

: 00:26:21

And I think it's exactly the same thing.

508

: 00:26:22

If we focus on all the things we

don't want about drinking, we're

509

: 00:26:26

gonna stay in that stuck mindset.

510

: 00:26:29

But if you focus on like, I want

to be energized, I want to be

511

: 00:26:32

successful, I want to be confident.

512

: 00:26:34

If you can focus on all the things

that you want, it's so much easier

513

: 00:26:38

to get them and to celebrate

achieving them because you know

514

: 00:26:42

that's what you were trying to do.

515

: 00:26:44

It's so true, isn't it?

516

: 00:26:45

People really resist that.

517

: 00:26:48

As do I in a coaching session.

518

: 00:26:50

If someone asks me to paint the picture

of success, it's the hardest thing to do.

519

: 00:26:55

Crazy, isn't it?

520

: 00:26:56

So I think you have a five day challenge

to help people to make this change.

521

: 00:27:02

Yep.

522

: 00:27:02

So I've got a five day challenge.

523

: 00:27:03

you've got the link and it's.

524

: 00:27:06

The challenge isn't that you have

to not drink for five days, although

525

: 00:27:10

obviously I do encourage that.

526

: 00:27:11

but the challenge is to

challenge your thinking about

527

: 00:27:14

drinking, in those five days.

528

: 00:27:16

So basically you'll just send emails

each day that ask you a series of

529

: 00:27:19

questions to reflect on, and you

can do that yourself or you can,

530

: 00:27:23

respond to the email and I will.

531

: 00:27:25

Maybe ask you some follow up

questions, based on your answers.

532

: 00:27:29

It is just five days and really gets

you thinking especially about the

533

: 00:27:32

work, rest, and play elements and,

leave the play one to all last cause

534

: 00:27:36

that's the bit people find hardest.

535

: 00:27:39

Crazy, isn't it?

536

: 00:27:39

Why do we all resist having fun?

537

: 00:27:42

Yeah.

538

: 00:27:44

so if someone's listening to this,

what would you want them to take

539

: 00:27:47

away from listening to this episode?

540

: 00:27:50

I think most of us, I'm gonna make a

assumption here, but most of us have

541

: 00:27:54

spent most of our adult lives as drinkers.

542

: 00:27:57

And if we've taken a break, it was 'cause

we were pregnant or sick or something.

543

: 00:28:01

And so I'd just say give sobriety a

chance because you probably haven't

544

: 00:28:06

given it a good chance of more than a

month or two since you were a teenager.

545

: 00:28:11

if you wanna get different results,

you've got to change something drastic.

546

: 00:28:15

Love that.

547

: 00:28:16

And where would people find you?

548

: 00:28:17

yeah, so I'm on LinkedIn as Chloe Myers

or Instagram as Chloe Myers coach.

549

: 00:28:24

Love it.

550

: 00:28:24

Thank you so much, Chloe.

551

: 00:28:25

I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

552

: 00:28:28

It was certainly inspiration for me

remembering my own three months without

553

: 00:28:32

alcohol and how good I actually felt.

554

: 00:28:37

Especially as we get older, the

energy starts to wane and alcohol

555

: 00:28:42

can really interrupt our sleep.

556

: 00:28:44

So I definitely need to go and check

out Chloe's five day challenge again.

557

: 00:28:50

And if you would like to do the same,

it's amazing the questions that she

558

: 00:28:54

asks were so, so helpful so you will

find the link to that email five

559

: 00:28:59

day challenge in the show notes.

560

: 00:29:01

I hope you enjoyed today's episode,

and like I say at the end of every

561

: 00:29:04

episode, trust yourself, believe in

yourself, and be the wise gardener

562

: 00:29:08

who keeps on watering the seeds.

563

: 00:29:11

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone):

Thank you so much for listening to this

564

: 00:29:13

episode of Women in the Coaching Arena.

565

: 00:29:16

I have a mess of free resources on

my website joannalottcoaching.com.

566

: 00:29:22

That's Joanna with an A

and Lott with two T's.

567

: 00:29:26

joannalottcoaching.com.

568

: 00:29:28

And I'll also put links in the show notes.

569

: 00:29:32

Let me know if you found

this episode useful.

570

: 00:29:35

Share it with a friend and

leave me a review, and I will

571

: 00:29:38

personally thank you for that.

572

: 00:29:41

Remember to trust yourself, believe

in yourself and be the wise Gardner

573

: 00:29:45

who keeps on watering the seed.

574

: 00:29:47

Get into the arena dare, greatly and try.